Warning Signs and How to Talk About Money

Money plays a major role in relationship health. Whether finances are fully shared or partially combined, unhealthy financial behaviors can create stress, conflict, and long-term financial damage.

Recognizing financial red flags in relationships early can help protect both your emotional and financial well-being. These warning signs may show up in a partner’s behavior, or even in your own habits.

If you share finances, or plan to, watch for these common money warning signs.

🚩 Red Flag #1: Refusal to Talk About Money

Avoiding conversations about finances is one of the biggest relationship warning signs. When a partner refuses to discuss money, they may be hiding financial information that could affect both of you.

They could be concealing:

• Hidden debt or excessive spending habits

• Compulsive gambling behavior

• Failed cryptocurrency or investment losses

• Poor credit history or unpaid bills

Financial secrecy prevents trust and can lead to unexpected debt, credit damage, or financial stress for both partners. Healthy relationships require open financial communication, especially when expenses or accounts are shared.

🚩 Red Flag #2: Irresponsible Credit Use

Credit cards can be powerful financial tools when managed responsibly. However, ongoing overspending or misuse can quickly lead to serious debt and credit problems.

Watch for these warning signs:

• Regularly maxing out credit cards

• Only making minimum monthly payments

• Constantly opening new credit accounts

• Frequent declined cards or rotating balances
  

Irresponsible credit use can damage credit scores, create long-term debt, and impact future financial goals like buying a home. And, financial irresponsibility isn’t limited to credit cards. Some partners repeatedly borrow money from family or friends without repayment, which can strain relationships.

🚩 Red Flag #3: Extreme Frugality or Financial Control

Saving money is important, but excessive frugality can harm quality of life and relationships.

Here’s when being thrifty crosses into unhealthy territory:

• Skipping meals or medications to avoid spending money

• Pressuring a partner to reduce essential expenses

• Taking safety risks to avoid costs (like driving on worn tires)

• Refusing any spending on enjoyment, relaxation, or self-care

Extreme financial control may also signal deeper issues, including financial manipulation or control within a relationship.

What to Do If You Notice Financial Red Flags

If you notice concerning financial behaviors, in your partner or yourself, proactive communication and planning can help protect your relationship and finances.

Set Financial Agreements

• Establish rules for discussing large purchases.

• Create shared spending limits.

• Agree on savings and financial goals.

Be Transparent About Debt

• Disclose debt amounts and types when the relationship becomes serious.

• Share credit score information if finances will be combined.

Stay Informed About Shared Finances

Even if one partner manages the money, both partners should understand:

• Income and expenses

• Debt obligations

• Savings and investments

• Financial goals

Schedule Regular Money Conversations

Don’t wait for problems to arise. Research shows:

• 54% of couples in “great” relationships talk about money weekly.

• Only 29% of couples in struggling relationships do the same.

If a partner refuses to have financial discussions, they may not be ready for a financially integrated relationship.

How to Start a Healthy Financial Conversation 

Talking about money doesn’t have to create conflict. These steps can help you build positive financial communication:

✅ Create a distraction-free environment
Discuss finances away from phones, TV, or other interruptions.

✅ Set shared financial goals
Talk about saving, debt reduction, homeownership, or retirement plans.

✅ Improve financial knowledge together
Cornerstone offers free financial education courses at CCFinancial.com/Zogo

✅ Consider professional guidance
Money issues are a leading cause of relationship stress and divorce. A therapist or financial counselor can help couples align financially.

Understanding Financial Abuse in Relationships

If a partner shows multiple financial red flags or actively controls your access to money, this may be financial abuse.

Financial abuse can include:

• Limiting access to shared funds

• Preventing a partner from working or earning income

• Monitoring or controlling all spending

• Creating financial dependency

If you suspect financial abuse, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or community organization for support.