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How to Spot Online Dating Scams: 3 Red Flags
Online dating is more popular than ever, and so are online dating scams. Criminals use fake profiles, emotional manipulation, and urgent money requests to target people looking for real relationships.
Romance scams are now one of the most financially damaging types of fraud. Some projections estimate online dating scams could impact more than 100,000 victims annually in the U.S., with losses reaching billions of dollars as scams become more sophisticated.
If you use dating apps or connect with people online, knowing how to spot a romance scam could protect both your finances and personal information.
What Is an Online Dating (Romance) Scam?
A romance scam happens when someone creates a fake online identity to build a relationship with you, and then asks for money, financial access, or personal information.
Many scams follow a predictable pattern:
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They build emotional trust quickly
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They avoid meeting in person
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They create an emergency or opportunity that requires money
The Federal Trade Commission warns that scammers often ask victims to move conversations off dating platforms, claim they work far away or overseas, and eventually ask for money for travel, emergencies, or investments.
🚩 Red Flag #1: They Want to Move Fast
Romance scammers often try to create instant emotional connection. They may message constantly, talk about the future quickly, or say they feel a deep connection after only a few conversations.
They also commonly try to move conversations off dating apps to private messaging or texting.
The FTC notes scammers often claim they can’t meet because they live far away, are working overseas, or are deployed in the military.
Warning Signs:
- They say “I love you” very quickly
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They want to leave the dating app immediately
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They always have excuses for not video chatting or meeting
🚩 Red Flag #2: Urgent Money Requests
Money requests are the biggest indicator of a romance scam.
Scammers often create emotional urgency like medical emergencies, travel problems, or investment opportunities. They frequently request payment through gift cards, cryptocurrency, or wire transfers because these are hard to recover.
FTC data shows romance scams consistently result in some of the highest financial losses of any fraud type, with thousands of dollars lost per victim in many cases.
Warning Signs:
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Emergency money requests
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Requests for crypto, gift cards, or wires
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Requests for help investing money
- Asks you to receive or hold funds for them for a large purchase
Rule to remember: Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
🚩 Red Flag #3: Their Stories Don’t Add Up
Many romance scammers use stolen photos or fake job stories to look legitimate.
Common fake backstories include:
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Military personnel stationed overseas
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Oil rig workers
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International contractors or engineers
Scammers often avoid detailed questions and may give inconsistent information over time. They also often refuse video calls or cancel meetings.
Warning Signs:
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Profile photos look overly professional or staged
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Details about their life change
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They refuse identity verification
A reverse image search can sometimes reveal if a profile photo is stolen.
Think You’re Talking to a Romance Scammer?
If something feels off, trust your instincts and take action quickly:
✅ Stop communication immediately
✅ Do not send money or financial information
✅ Talk to someone you trust
✅ Report the profile to the dating platform
✅ Report the scam to the FTC
The FTC recommends reporting scams at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and notifying the app where you met the person.
